"I have a dog! Holy crap!" were my first thoughts when I woke up the next morning, as it was the 7 times I woke up during the night. All the time, Nadine seemed just fine. No barking, no whimpering, no noise at all. Kind of odd, really, that she had yet to make a sound. What she did make during the night was a puddle on the bathroom rug. Not a big surprise and, like the mother of a newborn, I was just glad she went. I was stopped from my paper towel-absorbing by an image of myself and an excel document, recording Nadine's poos and pees to monitor normalcy. Oh my. I'm sure, I told myself, that while I might go overboard, I certainly won't go that far. Would I? Even though I am writing this a few months later and I still haven't gone that far, I know better than to say never. I learned this fine lesson from my friend Sara, who once said, "I will NEVER have a cell phone, minivan or live in the suburbs!" (While the cell phone was inevitable for all of us... for Sara, the other two turned out to be as well.)
After two failed attempts at taking her business outside, no doubt because she had already gave at the office, I had to get to work. I was already an hour late and, since I was taking a two-week vacation in a few days, I couldn't call in. My home was in no way dog-proof and I was now seeing it with very different eyes. Potentially poisonous plants! Evil electrocuting cords! Slopey shelves with scull-smashing pottery! Everything was dangerous which meant Nadine was going to spend her first day in my house closed up in the bathroom. "I am the worst pet owner ever," I told myself, horrified that I ever thought I could have a dog. Less than 24 hours and I'm locking her up in this teeny room all alone, not even with a toy.
Speidi, The Situation, that Duggar family and their inability to avoid copulation for a few days out of the month? It horrifies me that people like this have a platform in the media to promote reckless, selfish, and irresponsible behavior. The only people who are worse are those giving them the platform and providing a salary on top of it. Yet on that day, I had them beat with a one-two punch for worst person ever.
Nadine curled up on the towel I had put down and just looked at me with those eyes. What is it with dogs and their unbelievably guilt-inducing eyes? "No matter what I do, it's better than what she had," I say out loud as I close the door.
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